old old old kill story. Stratus man!

boost PSSH boost

SM's Welding Guru
Apr 4, 2005
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Marshall, WI
Here's a really friggin' silly story about a man and his stock red Dodge Stratus R/T.

Our story begins with a horrible FWD handbrake burnout going through the parking lot...

Lo and behold! A flat black 1988 Supra is parked under the flickering flourescent lights, its Spearco intercooler shimmering like a tanto inside the stealthy assassin's mouth. It sits upon stock suspension and Nitto drag radials. Its exhaust smells of candy, and releases white smoke that is entirely unrelated to a BHG. The Supra lopes, smiling its deadly grin as it sees our hero approach.

Our hero decides, "I should certainly park next to that fine automobile, and brag to its owner the wonders of my completely stock Dodge Status R/T! I'm sure he is interested in my unimaginably slow mode of transport."

He approaches the Supra, and after much useless banter asks if the supra would like to engage in a drag race for pinks.

"No, I'd rather not embarass you, man. I have 348whp and 370wtq, AND I'm on drag radials...your car is helplessly stock."

Hah! "What a cocky supra owner," thinks our hero.

"$100 then!"

To our hero's suprise, the dark supra agrees. They go out to a remote location.

Our hero spins his tires before the race. The Supra then unleashes an earth trembling roar as its Nitto's tear stone from asphalt. Its roar diminishes to a snarl, and it lays down 3 feet of smoking black rubber through 2 gears. It exhales with an ear shattering "PSSSSHHH" and pulls back to the starting line. The snarling beast brings his black heart up to 5500rpm...

The flagger's hands fall.

The supra bites into the black asphalt, punishing its tires with pure, unbridled torque, rocketing the monster four car lenghts ahead of our hero by 30mph. Try as he may, our hero could not catch this demon of steel and fire. He falls back more and more, his weak engine straining under the load. 6 cars...10 cars...12 cars... The wretched demon flies toward the horizon. The evil Supra collects his money, and goes to trap more helpless ricers in his web of uhh....honesty?

Our hero exclaims, "Damn you supra! I will find you when I get a supercharger!"


to be continued if he ever gets that supercharger, it's been a year now :biglaugh:

Cliffs: Big bad supra smokes idiot in stratus RT by 4634596857 bazillion car lengths.
 

shaeff

Kurt is FTMFW x2!!!!
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Mar 30, 2005
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you gotz da story skillz son! nice writing, very descriptive. i give it an A. :)

-shaeff
 

KINGPIN33

Member
Apr 3, 2005
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Nice story indeed. A bit off topic... What's the candy smell white smoke coming from if its not your HG? Is it your throttle body/turbo leak? Just curious as I was experiencing this problem. I have a stock exhaust and it seems that my middle resonator is FULL of water that I cannot get out!
 

boost PSSH boost

SM's Welding Guru
Apr 4, 2005
465
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Marshall, WI
sweet sweet 110 octane leaded gas. Race gas smells like candy :D

That's my favorite kill story. I've killed NSX's, BPU mk4's, c5 vettes, etc....but this one's way more fun to tell your friends around a camp fire, or a civic on fire if you're into that.
 

Wills7MGTE

( . )( . )'s RULE!!!!
May 12, 2006
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Good kill, the idiocy of people is insane, they engage mk3's because they wanna beat a supra but not an mk4, they don't realize a well done mk3 is just as bad as an mk4, SCREW RICERS, GOOD KILL.

Nice storytelling too ;)
 

Wills7MGTE

( . )( . )'s RULE!!!!
May 12, 2006
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Most Dodge drivers are retards with more confidence in something that pretty much sucks, I remember when R/T meant something but on a stratus, 93 to 99 neon or an avenger means well absolutley nothing.