mcpcola's daily (or not so daily) joke thread

forcefedsupra

aka, Turd Furguson
Jul 19, 2005
463
0
0
Jacksonville, FL
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
A: They are ugly and smell bad.

Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by their hair?
A: If you drag them by their feet, they fill up with dirt.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: It better be open when the bitch brings it to me!
 

forcefedsupra

aka, Turd Furguson
Jul 19, 2005
463
0
0
Jacksonville, FL
A woman walks into a bar with a parrot on her shoulder. She shouts " I am ready to fuck and suck everyone in this bar, if someone can guess what this parrot weighs!" A guy says " five hundred pounds!". She points at him and says " that's close enough, mister!"
 

OneJoeZee

Retired Post Whore
Mar 30, 2005
5,721
0
0
37
aboard the Argama
forcefedsupra said:
A woman walks into a bar with a parrot on her shoulder. She shouts " I am ready to fuck and suck everyone in this bar, if someone can guess what this parrot weighs!" A guy says " five hundred pounds!". She points at him and says " that's close enough, mister!"

I don't get it.
 

forcefedsupra

aka, Turd Furguson
Jul 19, 2005
463
0
0
Jacksonville, FL
Two firemen are buttfucking in a smoke filled room when their chief walks in and askes "What the hell is going on here!". The man in back says "Sir, this man is suffering from smoke inhalation!". Chief says "Didn't you give him mouth to mouth?". "Of course I did. How do you think this shit got started?"
 

forcefedsupra

aka, Turd Furguson
Jul 19, 2005
463
0
0
Jacksonville, FL
Ok, There is no way the parrot ways five hundred pounds. Therefore, she was going through with the fucking and sucking no matter what weight someone guessed.
 
N

NDBoost

Guest
forcefedsupra said:
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says " What can I get you Father Murphy?"
funny:naughty:
 

OneJoeZee

Retired Post Whore
Mar 30, 2005
5,721
0
0
37
aboard the Argama
forcefedsupra said:
Ok, There is no way the parrot ways five hundred pounds. Therefore, she was going through with the fucking and sucking no matter what weight someone guessed.


Ok, I get it. but it's not really funny.:(
 

Big Wang Bandit

You Can't Quit Me Baby
Feb 21, 2006
7,551
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San Ramon, CA - 925!
I have a bad one... Might offend a nascar fan. And to let people know I love the nascar circuit.











What does pink floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?

Their Last big hit was The Wall






R.I.P. Ralph Dale Earnhardt, Sr. (April 29, 1951 – February 18, 2001):cry:
 

mcpcola

7M's = Peoples Champ
Jul 4, 2005
428
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43
Greater Gulf Coast
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it
won. The pastor was so
pleased with the donkey that he entered it in
the race again, and it won
again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT
FRONT. The Bishop was so
upset with this kind of publicity that he
ordered the pastor not to enter
the donkey in another race. The next day, the
local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too
much for the bishop, so he
ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it
to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline the
next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop
fainted. He informed the nun
that she would have to get rid of the donkey,
so she sold it to a farmer
for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN
SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too
much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to
buy back the donkey and lead
it to the plains where it could run wild. The
next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The
bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is....being concerned
about public opinion can bring
you much grief and misery...and even shorten
your life. So be yourself and
enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone
else's ass and you'll be a lot
happier and live longer! Have a nice day.
 
N

NDBoost

Guest
forcefedsupra said:
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says " What can I get you Father Murphy?"
please remove screech from your avatar he is offending and scary.
 

Topher E

Trance Head
Aug 4, 2005
388
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0
36
Vacaville
Hear about the new jewish car? stops on a dime, picks it up.

Whats the difference between a jew and a canue? canues tip.

What was hitlers first birthday persent? easy bake oven.

what do you call a white guy in a car? white power. what do you call a black guy in a car? black power. what do you call a mexican in a car? stolen

what do you say when your watching tv and it starts floating? Drop it nigger

confucis say man who play with virgin get caught red handed.

Fat kids steal pies.

A man walks into a bar, ouch.