Jerkweed in an AMG E55 Benz.

azrael

Some assembly required
Oct 2, 2006
37
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Coquitlam, BC
I'd like to say, firstly, that I wouldn't -really- call this a kill, maybe just a satisfying humbling.

I'm driving along in the 81, four lane road and all, you know, plenty of room. I'm in the left lane, minding my own business in fifth gear at about 2k, when I look up and see headlights behind me, coming up fast. So, fine, I shift over to the right lane and keep mosying on along. Looking in my rear view, I can see the flash of a Benz logo atop a menacing chrome grille, and a clean white E-class pulls up beside me. I kind of look over, admiringly, and note the exceptionally douchebaggy twenty-something in the driver's seat. He's pulling past me doing an exceptionally silly speed.

Fine, maybe he's being dangerous and I shouldn't encourage him, but we've just recently put this car back together, and I missed it. Clutch in, third gear, rev match, and hammer it. Catching up slowly, slowly, 2500 RPM, little bit closer, 3k, and that's it. Head back into the headrest, the car is propelled forward with the might of full boost on that giant snail of a turbo seated next to the bedraggled old 5M-E. Back in fifth gear, I pull up beside him matching speed, and look over with a sickeningly sweet smile. Bear in mind, this guy is the ultimate in prep-douche, driving an AMG probably paid for by the family 'business.' Bear in mind, also, that I am an exceptionally scrawny, effeminate white boy, driving a POS-looking old mk1. I wave.

He doesn't seem amused, and hits it. Being as I'm already revving 3500 or so, I floor the throttle and the turbo is already spooled. We pull up to a red light. My car, vacuum leaks abound, idles as bad as it looks. He tries not to look, not to wonder, but my constant staring has him caught sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye. The light turns green, and he takes off just like he would've before, that same reckless abandon, in that white chariot that costs more than everything I own, squared. I definitely don't pin it, being as I'm somewhat afraid that the oilpan is just going to fall off or something, but I don't let him get away from me completely, either. I've all but given up, having long since proved my point, but damned if I didn't miss boost, and so I can't resist a good third gear 5k pull. Glowing, smiling to myself like I've just signed a six figure contract and am going home to an orgy of supermodels, I take my turnoff, and lope the car home.

I missed you, bitch.

She's also for sale. Someone please give her a loving home.
 

foreverpsycotic

Back in the game!
Jul 16, 2006
3,171
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ATL
Very exceptional writing indeed. You probably scared the shit out of him. WTF, is that a 70s import, and why is he keeping up with me.
 

suprafanatic

New Member
May 25, 2007
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Greenwood, IN
haha. very very well written you should right a book i would read it..lol and i dont read much..thats the one thing i love most about older supras. most people dont know what they are and think there POS's and there sitting all high and mighty in there really expensive luxury/sports cars just to get blown away and left wondering what the hell just happened.
 

azrael

Some assembly required
Oct 2, 2006
37
0
0
36
Coquitlam, BC
I also never said I outran it. Like I said, I wouldn't call it a kill, I'd say it was more along the lines of one of those moments where you make someone with a really expensive, fancy, fast car do a double take and wonder what the hell is keeping up with them. He would've had me off the line (the mk1 is a complete dog from a dead stop) and I'm sure given enough time he would've taken me from a roll, but nonetheless, the car was enough to stop him for a minute, and that's all the victory I could hope for out of an 81 that's been through as much as mine has.

Also, it's worth noting explicitly that this car has an extremely large turbo on it. Search 'Angry S14 Girl' if you want to read about more of its exploits.