A coworker sent this to me, thought I'd share...
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
Trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping
Boring and preferred to get in and get out.. Equally unfortunate, my wife is
Like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
Received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
Commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
Been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our
Video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
Other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
To the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
Voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
Employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from
Her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
Management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
Area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
The children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring
Pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children
Obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
Crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
It as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
He asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
Humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
Look by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
Through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
He assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
Awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
Here.' One of the clerks passed out.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
Trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping
Boring and preferred to get in and get out.. Equally unfortunate, my wife is
Like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
Received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
Commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
Been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our
Video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
Other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
To the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
Voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
Employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from
Her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
Management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
Area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
The children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring
Pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children
Obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
Crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
It as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
He asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
Humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
Look by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
Through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
He assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
Awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
Here.' One of the clerks passed out.
