Dear Wannabe Thug,

[BosoMKII]

Dear Wannabe Thug who stole my bonsai tree,

Please give it back. I cared for that dumb bush the last 6 years, nearly killing it twice. It's at least 20 years old and is a heck of a lot more mature than you. WTF do you want a tiny tree for anyway? Its kinda like a goldfish, but lives longer than you do and not vice versa.

I hate thieves.

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

Its Okay Matt, Lets go find that foo, and lay down some Bay Area Justice.

 

[honestabe]

Who the fuck steals a tree? Must be the gardener gang on the prowl. Sorry, but that really blows and is quite funny all at the same time.

Adam

 

[Kai]

My mate nick had a plant stolen from his front garden last week. Must be a 'fad' going round...

 

[SupraMario]

wait wait, am i hearing this right? People are actually stealing plants now? Holy fuck how low can people crawl?

 

[JustAnotherVictim]

Sorry Matt it told me it wasn't happy living with you, so I set it free.

 

[RHDMK3]

Who the fuck steels a Bonsai tree? I mean seriously??

 

[MDCmotorsports]

I feel you.... I got my ID (drivers lic, gun permit, gym card) stollen at the gym yesterday right behind my back.

Didn't take the keys to an expensive truck, nor my cell phone.

I hate cowards.....

 

[iwannadie]

Who the fuck steels a Bonsai tree? I mean seriously??

Those things can be expensive so of course people will steal them.

 

[ValgeKotkas]

Invent a new alarm system for plants etc. and you will be rich

 

[iwannadie]

Invent a new alarm system for plants etc. and you will be rich

The tree club, for Trees.

 

[BosoMKII]

Seriously retarded right? I actually had really grown to like that little tree ( pun intended ) and it was doing really well and healthy this season!

There is a middle school right down the street from me. I get a bunch of kids walking by every day. From time to time my mail gets stolen ( verified by calling the post office to see if something had been delivered, usually its Netflix ) and the odd box that UPS or the post office leaves out.

I hate this neighborhood.

 

[whudafux]

Put a package outside and wait behind a bush with a paintball gun or something. But the kids are out of school now so I guess you cant do it now.

 

[Mr.SelfDestruct]

not yet, they arent. hahah

 

[JustAnotherVictim]

Seriously retarded right? I actually had really grown to like that little tree ( pun intended ) and it was doing really well and healthy this season!

There is a middle school right down the street from me. I get a bunch of kids walking by every day. From time to time my mail gets stolen ( verified by calling the post office to see if something had been delivered, usually its Netflix ) and the odd box that UPS or the post office leaves out.

I hate this neighborhood.

Put the mail through a hole in your door.

 

[BosoMKII]

Put the mail through a hole in your door.

I have a mail slot. I have left notes for my mail carrier to please use it. But the fat bitch ( amazing she doesn't make her rounds on an electric cart ) won't. Not even when its RAINING and my mail gets all wet.

 

[JustAnotherVictim]

Where does she leave it? On your doorstep?

 

[BosoMKII]

There is a colander like mail box bolted to the wall. Its a stamped steel job so full of holes it would probably make a better bird's nest.

The mail slot is only two feet off the bottom of the door, so its an issue of having to bend down a bit I am sure. Plus the mail carrier would have to open the screen door first. To be fair, this is no insignificant consideration. The door has one of those hydraulic-damper door closer gizmos. This particular door closer gizmo appears to have borrowed its damper from a Baja 1000 race truck and its closure mechanism from a bear trap. The screen door swings shut at roughly mach II and slams into the frame with the force of a 16 inch shell from the deck guns of the USS Missouri exploding on a reinforced concrete bunker.

In the interest of keeping all my fingers attached to my hands I typically use the back door where I kept the tree and park my motorcycle.

 

[Keros]

Plus the mail carrier would have to open the screen door first. To be fair, this is no insignificant consideration. The door has one of those hydraulic-damper door closer gizmos. This particular door closer gizmo appears to have borrowed its damper from a Baja 1000 race truck and its closure mechanism from a bear trap. The screen door swings shut at roughly mach II and slams into the frame with the force of a 16 inch shell from the deck guns of the USS Missouri exploding on a reinforced concrete bunker.

Oh man, that is funniest damn imagery ever. I lol'd off my chair :biglaugh:

 

[Syris]

WTH is a Bansai tree?