this is funny

[NocturnalKitty]

thought some of the ladies around here might appreciate a good laugh...




For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like.....


1. Men are like Laxatives .............. They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas ........... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather ................. Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ..... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars....... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials ........ You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores .......Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like Government Bonds .. They take soooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara........ They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn .............They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms ...You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps ................Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ....All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped .

 

[DsBetterHalf]

LMAO....so true!! Thanks for the laugh

 

[Saavedro88]

BWAHAHAH!!! That was awesome...

...

Wait...

 

[suprahero]

I didn't see one dam'd thing funny about that.................well actually they were all funny........:biglaugh:

 

[tlo86]

sounds like a lesbian wrote those jokes :flamed:

 

[JustAnotherVictim]

Most of those count for women too.

 

[Dunckel]

Most of those count for women too.

Yup, like 1-13.

 

[GrimJack]

Retaliation!

Guys, when you're sitting in front of your big screen TV watching the game, and the woman storms in from the kitchen complaining about something, what do you know instantly, before she even starts?

.
.
.

Her chain is too long.

 

[eman2289]

LOL.^

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nothing. You already told her twice.

So wrong, yet so funny.

 

[ValgeKotkas]

I deny number 3. and 6.

 

[Kai]

If you have your dog barking at the back door and your wife shouting at you through the front door, which do you let in?

The dog, cause when you let him in, he'll shut up

---

Why is a launderette a bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman that can't afford a washing machine wont be able to support you.

---

Why do men fart far more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure...

---

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them...

---

Why do women have breasts?

So men will talk to them...


Theres more where they came from

 

[BlindRonin]

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them...

That is Great!

The men ones are pretty funny too.

 

[NocturnalKitty]

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them...

thats been one of my favorites for yrs now.

the rest were good too.

 

[ilikebigbutts]

why do women have smaller feet?

to be able to be closer to the oven

science teacher told us that in 8th grade not sure why