Story/Joke Time

A-to-the-J

A-to-the-J

Panda™ and Pre-89 Gracer™
Feb 19, 2006
1,080
1
38
38
Anaheim/West Covina, CA
thought i'd post this up..for shits and giggles because i'm bored and sick!

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or "family" pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
 
Jaguar_5

Jaguar_5

It's ALIVE!
Feb 7, 2006
1,468
0
0
Seattle
3 dumb girls were walking through a forest when they spotted some tracks, the brunette said 'Those look like deer tracks!', but the redhead said 'No way, those are bear tracks' then the blonde decided 'those definitely look like rabbit tracks!'. Then they all got hit by a train.
 
jdub

jdub

Official SM Expert: Motor Oil, Lubricants & Fil
SM Expert
Feb 10, 2006
10,730
1
38
Valley of the Sun
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect," her husband said." I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.
You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you."
 
flight doc89

flight doc89

Registered Murse
Apr 21, 2006
227
0
0
Bessemer, Alabama, United States
this is a racist joke, but funny. the text is white, so you have to highlight it to see it (in case these jokes aren't your sort of thing)(don't worry, its not bad :D )

White guy, black guy, and a Mexican walking down the beach, come across a golden lamp. Figuring they'd try their luck, they rub it, and poof! out comes a genie.

Genie says, "Since there are three of you, you each get one wish. Who goes first?"
Mexican says, "You know what, I miss my family in Mexico. I wish that me and all of my Mexican brethren could be sent back to Mexico to rejoin our families."
POOF! the Mexican disappears, and there are no Mexicans in the USA.

Black guy says, "You know what, I like his idea. I wish that me and my African brothers and sisters could all be sent back to Africa, to live in our homeland once more."

POOF! no more black people in the USA.

Genie says, "What about you?"

White guy says, "So, there are no Mexicans in the US anymore?"
"Thats right."
"And no blacks?"
"Yep."

"Well, I think I'll have a Coke."



next joke:

Black guy, Cuban, and a Mexican are all riding in a car. Who's driving?



The Deputy.
 
BlackMKIII

BlackMKIII

Hardcore Lurker
Jan 6, 2007
2,134
3
36
40
Norman, Oklahoma
www.facebook.com
Possibly offensive: (highlight to read)

So this Mexican walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder
Walks up to the bar, bartender walks over
The parrot orders a shot of tequila
Bartender looks at the guy, then looks at the parrot.
"Where did you get him?" the bartender asks
The parrot replies "Home Depot. They're all over the parking lot!"

:biglaugh:
 
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