its a long story.. more fucking stupid ass drama so if you cant handle the heat get outta the kitchen.
I went to kaiser and they will NOT do my surgery because i have cmsp health coverage.. which they will not take.. they expected full amount of cash at time of surgery.. which obviously i dont have.
So after this i went to another hospital where i had another MRI and had my medical records forwarded from kaiser to memorial hospital in santa rosa... Well my MRI revealed a decently sized mass in my sinus.. directly under the brain.
They weighed me again and were wondering why i have lost 18 pounds since the 3rd of january... my face is starting to kinda suck up and look boney..i am normally around 140-145 at 5'10", now im about at 122..So more hospital hopping.. im now going enbetween lower lake, (my dads) kaiser for files, (santa rosa), memorial ( for my doctor), and ukiah ( for my specialist )
When at memorial and kaiser... both doctors were immensley concerned that i may have cancer in my upper sinus, which flaired my tonsils and adnoids, they think it has been there for a while, because there is also alot of damage to my sinuses, and throat. both doctors shoved a gayass camera through my nose which hurt like hell , and one did one in my throat. im now on 8 prescriptions.. which completely fuck me over.. my body really isnt liking the prednisone, which i take 60MG a day.. i also take antihistimines, anti-inflamitory, antibiotics, and i go to the doctor twice a week now.
I lay in bed pretty much everyday now feeling useless, feeling like im decaying, lonely, and pissed.. i try to get up and do shit.. but after about an hour, i feel like i ran a marathon or something, and i just pass out for the rest of the day... my body hurts so goddamn bad and i want it to stop... anyways i have an appointment in ukiah to see my e.n.t. specialit next week.. and they mentioned something about doing surgery within two weeks.. the first surgery will be to remove tonsils, adnoids, and try to repair damage, and also take a small biopsy of the unknown entity, so they are saying at the least 3 surgeries total.
ANYWAYS.. on top of all that its been pretty god damn lonely and depressing here in lake county. After losing christi, my job, my house, im feeling pretty pathetic staying at my dads rotting away.. i feel bad because i hate my family to see me like this. and it sucks but theres only one person that will come see me, and its my friend kristina, she usually comes once or twice a day to see how im doing, and maybee lay next to me and watch tv or something..
sorry for the long message guys, not dying for attention or anything..i just felt like you guys deserve to know. i hope i can pull through.. but at this point im not sure how well it will go, judging on how im feeling... if anyone wants all the medical details and special names for it.. pm me and ill tell you, maybee you guys have some good advice to give.
-ryan
"If you can't fly, run. If you can't run, walk.If you can't walk,crawl,but by all means keep moving" MLK
I went to kaiser and they will NOT do my surgery because i have cmsp health coverage.. which they will not take.. they expected full amount of cash at time of surgery.. which obviously i dont have.
So after this i went to another hospital where i had another MRI and had my medical records forwarded from kaiser to memorial hospital in santa rosa... Well my MRI revealed a decently sized mass in my sinus.. directly under the brain.
They weighed me again and were wondering why i have lost 18 pounds since the 3rd of january... my face is starting to kinda suck up and look boney..i am normally around 140-145 at 5'10", now im about at 122..So more hospital hopping.. im now going enbetween lower lake, (my dads) kaiser for files, (santa rosa), memorial ( for my doctor), and ukiah ( for my specialist )
When at memorial and kaiser... both doctors were immensley concerned that i may have cancer in my upper sinus, which flaired my tonsils and adnoids, they think it has been there for a while, because there is also alot of damage to my sinuses, and throat. both doctors shoved a gayass camera through my nose which hurt like hell , and one did one in my throat. im now on 8 prescriptions.. which completely fuck me over.. my body really isnt liking the prednisone, which i take 60MG a day.. i also take antihistimines, anti-inflamitory, antibiotics, and i go to the doctor twice a week now.
I lay in bed pretty much everyday now feeling useless, feeling like im decaying, lonely, and pissed.. i try to get up and do shit.. but after about an hour, i feel like i ran a marathon or something, and i just pass out for the rest of the day... my body hurts so goddamn bad and i want it to stop... anyways i have an appointment in ukiah to see my e.n.t. specialit next week.. and they mentioned something about doing surgery within two weeks.. the first surgery will be to remove tonsils, adnoids, and try to repair damage, and also take a small biopsy of the unknown entity, so they are saying at the least 3 surgeries total.
ANYWAYS.. on top of all that its been pretty god damn lonely and depressing here in lake county. After losing christi, my job, my house, im feeling pretty pathetic staying at my dads rotting away.. i feel bad because i hate my family to see me like this. and it sucks but theres only one person that will come see me, and its my friend kristina, she usually comes once or twice a day to see how im doing, and maybee lay next to me and watch tv or something..
sorry for the long message guys, not dying for attention or anything..i just felt like you guys deserve to know. i hope i can pull through.. but at this point im not sure how well it will go, judging on how im feeling... if anyone wants all the medical details and special names for it.. pm me and ill tell you, maybee you guys have some good advice to give.
-ryan
"If you can't fly, run. If you can't run, walk.If you can't walk,crawl,but by all means keep moving" MLK
