Fun with telemarketers

[GrimJack]

A good friend of mine turned me onto this trick, and it's made me giggle many times since.

Whenever a telemarketer calls, I give them a short time to explain what they are selling, then interrupt to tell them I am very interested. I then ask them to hold on for a few seconds, and just put the phone down.

Then I go back to whatever I was doing before they called and wait for the annoying beep from the phone letting me know they gave up.

The idea is to waste as much time of theirs as you can - if everyone did this, it would be impossible to make money telemarketing, and people would stop trying.

Plus, it's fun to bet on how long they will stay on hold, waiting for me to come back on the line, which is never going to happen.

If anyone breaks my record of 45 minutes, let me know!

 

[MDCmotorsports]

I just have fun with them by:

A.) Making raunchy porno answers.... "Oh yesssss. Ohhhh that sounds sooooooo hot and wet...." Stuff like that.

B.) Inviting them to a BBQ with stippers

C.) When they ask "Does MR. Doe have a spouse?" I answer in the deepest manly voice I got... "I am his spouse."

Works like a charm every time.

*CLICK*

 

[Ckanderson]

lol^

I always give listen for lots like 10 min.. then of scream "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! NOO!!!!" then head hang up..

 

[SupraMario]

u did here about the guy who went to a telemarketing convention and at like 3 am when they all were asleep in their hotel rooms he would call them like 50 times acting like he wanted to sell them something. it was funny as hell. he recorded it all.
does ne1 have the recordings?

 

[Squid699]

i like interrupting them midsentence by holding down one of the number buttons and not letting up for like 3 minutes........that usually gets rid of them.

 

[goliath]

I try and waste as much of their time as posible. Ask as many questions as possible, try and catch them contradicting themselves, or just flat out lying to me. I do this as long as I can stand it, and then say no and hangup.

GOD THEIR IRRATATING! :bigun2:

 

[lanky189]

sure is great the way the do not call list is working.... oh wait..its not.

 

[americanjebus]

i just start answering in different languages. "que?? quien erres, KYO HASSU NI NARRI MUSUKA!!", <-(go away i dotn want anything in some asian language, then i go into german) was is deine name, wie spAit ist es. was mochst du hier?? they usualy say oh sorry and hang up by the time i go into german.

 

[GrimJack]

Getting rid of them is easy, guys. Just talk really quietly for a minute, then put your handset into a steel garbage can and beat the hell out of it for a minute. They'll turn up the earpiece when you are quiet, then get deafened by the can trick.

That's not the point.

The idea is to waste as much of their time as you can, without wasting any of your time. If enough people do this, it will make telemarketing useless.

Consider this... right now, they can make money by paying people to call you, because 1 person in 20 will buy what they are selling, and the other 19 only take a minute each to call. So, right now they are running about a 50:50 ratio - 19 minutes of waste to 20 minutes on the call with a real buyer.

So, if everyone they call wastes 5 minutes of their time instead, they now get one sale for every 2 hours spent on the phone, instead of one sale for every 40 minutes. If everyone can waste 10 minutes of their time, they get one sale for every 3.5 hours, and so on.

It doesn't take much before they can't make enough money to cover the cost of paying for the telemarketer in the first place. At that point, they are FUBAR.

 

[Ckanderson]

What I do... you know those pre marked envelopes that the credit card companies send ya? yes.. i put junk mail in those, and send em back.. that way it cost them money singe i used their pre paid postage...

 

[CTsupra]

Getting rid of them is easy, guys. Just talk really quietly for a minute, then put your handset into a steel garbage can and beat the hell out of it for a minute. They'll turn up the earpiece when you are quiet, then get deafened by the can trick.

:rofl: I'm lying down and I really was rolling on the floor holding my stomach after reading this. I also think I just woke up my friend who lives with me, lol.

edit: I usually just look at the caller id to see if it is a telepunk, answer and scream NO! They don't call back.

 

[shaeff]

What I do... you know those pre marked envelopes that the credit card companies send ya? yes.. i put junk mail in those, and send em back.. that way it cost them money singe i used their pre paid postage...

thats friggin excellent! haha

-shaeff

 

[siman]

I like answering in a "gay" sounding voice....something me and my brother do after watching too much Zoolander LMAO

and start making weird noises in the background....always makes a weird pause on the phone...then you just start laughing....they figure it out :momaru: