You're leaving a couple minor things out...like the spring pressures.
On a 7M spring pressures range:
Stock - 35 lbs
Comp Cams - 55 lbs
BC - 60 lbs
Ferrea - 67 lbs (std dual spring)
On a SBC the pressures range from 85 lbs stock to 130 lbs on a built motor...this greatly increases the pressure between the tappet surface and the cam lobe. That is why the cam profile for a flat tappet motor is less aggressive than what's possible with roller cams.
Plus (like you said), the rocker assembly is what the tappet pushes against, changing the force required to open the valves...on a 7M, 1J, and 2J the pressure is exerted directly against the shim/bucket (technically this is also a tappet). The valves in a flat tappet motor are bigger and heavier as well, requiring even more force. The design of the flat tappet motors in question is nowhere close to the design of the 7M. Like I said, the only similarity is the cam lobe is pushing against the flat surface of the shim. Other than that, you're comparing an apple to an orange.
The issue with flat tappets is not only due to what's happened to oil formulation. A lot of inferior tappets (Chinese) have entered the market and budget minded builders are using them. This design (very old) was not the best to begin with and guys pushed it to the limits. The Chinese tappets are not holding up very well.