Ahh man, I have a great no-shit funny true story about my first Air Force Flight physical experience. I will share this with you all while sober.
Once you entered the AFROTC program and were in their pilot pipeline, you had to pass an extensive pilot physical from the nearest Air Force Base. In my case it was Scott AFB in Illinois. I completed the physical and the only thing left to finish was the donation of some sample stool for 3 days that the university nurse would collect and process. After the 3rd day, the nurse tells me that I have blood in my stool sample and I would have go back to the Flight Surgeon to get my bowels examined.
Back to Scott I go for what I thought would be a simple test. Thought it was going to be X-rays, but the motherf'er pulled a device that I could only describe as a long skinny, shiny flashlight with a camera lens on the end. Think of it as skinny Maverick missile. Well long story short, I proceed to get raped by this thing and they found nothing.
Here is the funniest part. They figured out the blood was coming from the sides of my ass and was not internal. Well it turns out that the toilet paper in the dorms was as rough as sandpaper. I must have been wiping too hard. Ain't that some shit.
That tale was always good for some laughs at the O'club during happy hour. There would be other tales to tell, but that was definitely my most embarrasing and humiliating one.
Semper Fi, indeed.
Once you entered the AFROTC program and were in their pilot pipeline, you had to pass an extensive pilot physical from the nearest Air Force Base. In my case it was Scott AFB in Illinois. I completed the physical and the only thing left to finish was the donation of some sample stool for 3 days that the university nurse would collect and process. After the 3rd day, the nurse tells me that I have blood in my stool sample and I would have go back to the Flight Surgeon to get my bowels examined.
Back to Scott I go for what I thought would be a simple test. Thought it was going to be X-rays, but the motherf'er pulled a device that I could only describe as a long skinny, shiny flashlight with a camera lens on the end. Think of it as skinny Maverick missile. Well long story short, I proceed to get raped by this thing and they found nothing.
Here is the funniest part. They figured out the blood was coming from the sides of my ass and was not internal. Well it turns out that the toilet paper in the dorms was as rough as sandpaper. I must have been wiping too hard. Ain't that some shit.
That tale was always good for some laughs at the O'club during happy hour. There would be other tales to tell, but that was definitely my most embarrasing and humiliating one.
Semper Fi, indeed.