another f*cking wreck

[Justin727]

Well after hanging out with my friends tonight I get a call around 12:30 from Jamie.. Dunno if any of you remember but she was in a horrible wreck not long ago(not her fault). Anyhow after buying the new tundra for us and me lettin her have the tbird to drive to and fro to work and when she has the kid swap cars with me.
Well i get a call and she is crying and upset telling me she got into a wreck in the tbird. So i proceed to go there and she has rear ended the fuck out of an early 90's honda accord. maybe a 91. well needless to say the honda's trunk was pushed over the roof of the car and the thundertank held up pretty well. from the looks it needs new hood, head lights, front bumper, fenders, and radiator support. The people also didnt have insurance.
Anyways i get there and jamie smells like she has been drinking a tad bit. Not enough to be totally drunk but she seems a lil buzzin. so i asked her friend and she told me yea she had that 1 crown royal shot and although it wasnt enough to get her drunk it pissed me the hell off cause this could come back on me cause the car is my car. I just thought it was stupid to rear end the only damn car at the light that was green out of a 3 lane road....
From what i understand she was comming up to the light and it was green and the car that was at the light started to move then slammed on the brakes and she slammed on the brakes and rear ended the honda.
I'm glad everyone is fine but it really upsets me because every car jamie has had although not her fault except this one has been wrecked. 4 total.
It hurts me because I work hard for everything i have and i just spent over a grand on the front end of the tbird to get it SAFE and the fact that i gave it to her so she can get a job and back on her feet.
it makes me sick. I try so hard and get pushed back further. I just feel like giving up on everything.

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

Ugh sounds rough dood. Can't really say anything. Sorry for the problems.

 

[Justin727]

it just sucks because now she has no car to get to her new jobs and I have to pay this goddamn truck note alone when we were BOTH suppose to pay on it since it was for the both of us. Now I gotta worry about fixing the tbird or some shit and it will just slow down the supra.. Right now I really dont know what im going to do.

 

[Joel W.]

I know how you feel, My ex was always crashing cars. Mine, hers and her parents, We would fix or replace and she would crash again..

I upgraded to girlfriend v2.0
Tuff call, but she was also crazy, so it made it easier...

 

[Justin727]

might have to do that myself. this has really pushed me to the limit with her. Although this is the first time with her d/d i dont want it happening agian. guess i'll figure something out and go after my kid.

 

[Joel W.]

You have a kid with her? Then maybe tell her what your thinking and maybe she will quit drinking on her own and watch where she is going given a choice... :dunno:

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

Agree with Joel. Might want to talk things out.

 

[Justin727]

yes i have a kid with her. been with her for 5 years. kid is 2 years 7 months.
But i have talked to her over and over agian. About her drinking although she doesnt do it often its when she does it she over does it. This is the first time its left the house.
I had an Incident with her not to long ago where she over did it and I came home to a nice sweet jamie then in a drop of a dime sudden bitch. Anyways I ended up getting a work shirt ripped, cell phone snapped into 2, messing the hinge up on the tbird pass. door, and keeping me up all night on a work night beating on me. We made an agreement for her to stay away from drinking for sometime and for her not to do it without me around. Well she broke that promise and lets just say it isnt the first time. Right now im tired of talking about it so I dunno what im going to do about this.

 

[Joel W.]

Man this sounds so familiar....:3d_frown:

Not sure on Gulfport laws, but be careful. There is a new law around that says even if your not married to her, if you let her move into your house with keys and you have not kept $$$$ seperate, she can be entitled to your stuff. (house, cars, kids, bank accounts) Proceed with caution... Sneak off to a lawer friend for a chat and get more info.. Or research it online even.

That is my best advice, sorry man...

 

[Justin727]

no no we are not living together. that law that you are speaking of sounds like the so called "Common Law" mariage. If a couple lives together for about 6 months they can become common law married or something rather.

 

[aye mate]

I am going to say really try and work this one out. If you didn't have a kid with her I would say dump her, but having a kid is totally different. That kid NEEDS 2 parents, whether you are married or not. I would suggest some counseling. I don't know if you go to church or not but alot of pastors are very good counselors.

PS and don't live in the same house until AFTER you get married. Living together before is never a good thing, because of what Joel said and other things.

 

[Justin727]

Thanks.
yes thats why i'm not living with her now.
I also go to church regularly and work with 2 deacon's. I'll figure something out i suppose

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

Thats a great suggestion AM, even if I am only 17 attending church regularly has help me an immense ammount. Even if im not going today for the AMA superbikes at Sears Point. Thats not the point.

Keep going Justin.

 

[Allan_MA70]

get her a car in her name, next time shes pissed and crashes it get the cops to do her for drink driving and if you ever have to goto court thats a big bit of ammo to use to get the kid

 

[mkiiSupraMan18]

I am going to say really try and work this one out. If you didn't have a kid with her I would say dump her, but having a kid is totally different. That kid NEEDS 2 parents, whether you are married or not.

I disagree, staying together for the sake of a child is stupid, IMO. Why should the two of you be miserable just for the kids sake? I mean, if you're miserable, and she is, you will probably end up yelling and screaming in front of your kid and at 2 years and some change, the kid doesn't need that. I'm sure the last thing you want the kid to think about relationships is that all you have to do is yell and scream at each other. But that's just me... I mean hell, as long as you keep the relationship with her half-way civilized, there's no reason why the two of you couldn't share custody or w/e. But this is always a crappy situation, and you can't really look from the outside in, because none of us know the whole story.

*edit*
When you said "when she has the kid swap back with me" you meant the child you have currently, correct? Or is there another on the way?

 

[Dirgle]

Sorry to hear about that Justin, I know a couple girls that have managed to eliminate several vehicles. And yet for some reason, men are the ones with higher insurance rates.:3d_frown: One girl I dated managed to destroy three cars before I met her, three while I was with her (two of them were her parents), and two after we broke up. She is on her ninth car and just managed to hit a deer back in Colorado. She would have lost here license long ago but she has a kid and the license is necessary to take care of the kid.

As for Jamie’s drinking problem, that is an issue that must be dealt with. You tell her (and you have to be serious about it) that if she doesn’t go get help for this problem that you two are done. She has proven that she can't take care of it herself. If she doesn’t agree to get help several things are wrong. One, she doesn’t care about her relationship with you enough help herself. Two, the scarier of the bunch, she doesn’t see or recognize the problem.

I also don't care what the legal limit says; alcohol affects different people in different ways. I have a friend that if he even sniffs a beer he gets messed up. To the point I wouldn't even get into a car with him. Those types of people shouldn't get near a car if they have drunk alcohol irregardless of what the legal limit is. The simple fact is the moment you take your first sip of alcohol you are introducing a foreign substance into the body that will begin to affect how it works. You don't suddenly reach the legal limit without any problem and then, BAM, you’re drunk. A lot of people, especially women for some reason, can't understand this. They think a couple of beers or a shot here and there won't affect them, but the moment you introduce a substance like alcohol into your body it begins to affect you.

You need to be firm with her on this issue, but you also need to be supportive. Just remember, like it or not, it’s possible to be supportive even if you’re not together.

Yes the car wrecking issue is very annoying, but they are just things, they can be repaired or replaced. It’s Jamie’s life and her attitude towards it that need to be taken care of right now. You implied that she is trying to get her life back on track, new job and such, so this wreck has just become a little derailment on that track to recovery. She needs to realize that it wasn’t just bad luck that got here in this position, it was a few poor choices on her part, and she needs to try and make better choices next time. But this needs to be done in a way that she realizes that this isn’t the end, there is hope. She will move past this, tomorrow will come, and she will get the chance to make the right choices. And you will be there to support her.

But don’t forget about yourself. I know this sucks for you too. So remember, it is only a car, a thing, replaceable and repairable. The important ones, the people and their life’s are ok. So no damage, that can’t be fixed, has been done.

There is hope! You WILL move past this! Tomorrow WILL come! And you WILL get the chance to make things RIGHT!

So the best of luck to Jamie and you Justin, what ever you choose to do with the situation.

 

[JustAnotherVictim]

I agree with Aye Mate about the kid needing two parents, but two good parents, not one bad and one good. If she keeps wrecking she may not walk away from one of them. I'd work on getting away from her, it would be nice if you could work it out so the kid can get to see both of you but if it's not realistic I'd work on trying to find someone else. The kid doesn't need to be thrown into her problems.

 

[Justin727]

Thanks for the support guys. Although people look at drinking problems as someone that may drink everyday or every other day i think of it differently. From what i gathered is she was fiddling for her CELL PHONE the light was green and the car that was at the light started to go then suddenly slammed on brakes and she slammed on brakes but still hit them. So women looking for their cell phones is what causes these phenomonon.
What I meant about switching out vehicles, because the tbird has no a/c and its a 2 door car that when she wanted to take the baby out or whatever the case maybe with her driving with the kid we will swap out vehicles so she'll have something larger, a/c, and safer then say the tbird for baby transports.
After all the tbird was just my d/d.
I've talked this over with her and pressed the issue real hard. Although she has never driven actually DRUNK before this being damn near close was enough. the tbird might be able to be repaired with more new front end parts but this is just the sux.
Well this is the first wreck that IS her fault the others werent.
what i said about her getting her life back on track wasnt because she's an alchoholic what i meant was from the last wreck she was involved in that was no where near her fault.
I'll get pictures asap.

 

[Nick M]

Not excusing anything or going to comment on any relationship, but remember, perfectly sober women have done the exact same thing.

 

[Justin727]

true nick. Her main thing was worrying with the cell phone.... something sober women do alot.

main thing is it just pisses me off that i try so hard for the 2 of us to get ahead.. Its like taking 1 step foward 5 steps back