So, may Satan's VW RIP(pieces).
So, some jackhole cut down a 3-foot thick tree and drug it up to the road with the base of the trunk sitting on the yellow line. During the rainy weather, I (using my lack-of-sleep impaired excellent judgement) reach down for my sweet tea and drift my right tires off the curb. Under other circumstances, this would be a forgivable offense and easily corrected, but Murphy's Law was strong with me tonight. I had driven carefully in the rain all night. I had actually pulled over TWICE to respond to text messages because I didn't want to text and drive in this rain. One dumb reach for the drink at the wrong moment, and about 10 seconds later (felt like a lot longer than that, but I'm being conservative), and the SatanMobile is smashed. But first, the car launched into a series of acrobatic maneuvers I can hardly describe. I do recall the airbags going off, then the car was on its side, then gravity was going the wrong way, then finally gravity was fixed and the car slid to a stop.
Having never been in a car wreck before, I was not expecting the clouds of smoke in the cabin. Upon noting the smoke and the heat, I was like "Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck got to get out NOW" and I had the seatbelt off and the door open before the car had stopped sliding. My first thought was fire, but the cop later informed me that the airbags were responsible.
Interestingly, once I was out of the car, I couldn't get the doors back open. The frame is bent on the right side, and the car slid on its left side (depositing my left mirror in the back seat via the rear window in the process), thus jamming both doors.
In retrospect, maybe the SatanMobile wasn't so bad. I have no injuries.
PS: while I call the guy that put the tree on the road edge a jackhole, I DO realize that this was my fault.
So, some jackhole cut down a 3-foot thick tree and drug it up to the road with the base of the trunk sitting on the yellow line. During the rainy weather, I (using my lack-of-sleep impaired excellent judgement) reach down for my sweet tea and drift my right tires off the curb. Under other circumstances, this would be a forgivable offense and easily corrected, but Murphy's Law was strong with me tonight. I had driven carefully in the rain all night. I had actually pulled over TWICE to respond to text messages because I didn't want to text and drive in this rain. One dumb reach for the drink at the wrong moment, and about 10 seconds later (felt like a lot longer than that, but I'm being conservative), and the SatanMobile is smashed. But first, the car launched into a series of acrobatic maneuvers I can hardly describe. I do recall the airbags going off, then the car was on its side, then gravity was going the wrong way, then finally gravity was fixed and the car slid to a stop.
Having never been in a car wreck before, I was not expecting the clouds of smoke in the cabin. Upon noting the smoke and the heat, I was like "Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck got to get out NOW" and I had the seatbelt off and the door open before the car had stopped sliding. My first thought was fire, but the cop later informed me that the airbags were responsible.
Interestingly, once I was out of the car, I couldn't get the doors back open. The frame is bent on the right side, and the car slid on its left side (depositing my left mirror in the back seat via the rear window in the process), thus jamming both doors.
In retrospect, maybe the SatanMobile wasn't so bad. I have no injuries.
PS: while I call the guy that put the tree on the road edge a jackhole, I DO realize that this was my fault.
