The wasp story to settle us all in....

DrakeMK3

"The Duck"
Mar 30, 2005
328
0
0
Knoxville, TN
To get this place feeling more like home, I felt the need to re-post my wasp story.

This is all true because it just happend to me a few days ago. Enjoy!

Saturday, I was going through the drive thru at McDonalds with the windows down but the top on. Well, I was almost to the window where you hand them your money when a freakin' wasp the size of texas tries to take possession of my car. So, being the scared-shitless wonder I am, I quickly lean foward flailing my arms as I scan the depths of my cargo area. As I assess the situation, I realize that everyone behind me must be pissed because the car in front of me has finally moved. Afraid of touching the deadly mammoth with wings and a stinger, I lightly finesse the shifter, pedals and steering wheel to inch my way closer to the pay window.

As I arrive at the pay window leaning as close to the windsheild as possible, I carefully fumble around for my money trying to avoid upsetting the beast that could be lurking anywhere. I do NOT want to get stung by some little red prick who just waltzes into my car!!!

Anyway, I focus my attention back to the semi-cute girl behind the window and quickly throw her my money. I missed with one of the coins and one of the dimes bounces off the window and hits me in the forehead. As I scramble for another dime I realize she must think I'm on crack, but I decide I don't really care.

I find a dime in my little cup thingy behind the shifter (what the hell is that thing called anyway?) and carefully but quickly place the dime on the cold, metal window counter as to not lose it and the opportunity to escape my tormentor. I quickly speed to the food window testing my 3" exhaust and count down the seconds until I can hurl myself out of the car in preparation for my counter attack.

I get to the food window and notice two "officially cute" girls staring at me as I gaze at them with a ravenous stare of wanting........my food that is. One of the girls eventually hands me a sack and a drink and I proceed to leave rubber by their window.

To my dismay, every parking space was filled and I had to act fast for fear of gaining an unwanted piercing in my oh so delicate skin.

As I launch out of the parking lot, I notice a bank that appears to be closed with an empty parking lot so I set my sights on the target, hoping I can make it. Soon, I discover myself sliding into the parking lot, yanking up the ebrake, and releasing my seat belt all in one fluid motion. I leave the car on as I fall out of the car and begin to assess my position.

Suddenly, I spot all that is evil in my back window just waiting for me. So, I call his bluff and pop the hatch only to discover he is no longer on the glass. I am perplexed, but continue to the rear of the car and lift the hatch. In what must have been his last attempt at murder, the wasp springs from under my cargo cover and I pull a "matrix move" to avoid feeling the wrath of the deadly asshole.

Though shaken up, I calm myself down, shut the hatch and continue to my friends house to play some poker.


Has this ever happened to any of you?

Drake
 

Lurch

You rang?
Mar 30, 2005
39
0
0
39
Knoxvegas
Still a great story, good idea for the repost. It is starting to look a bit more lively around here now.
 

americanjebus

Mr. Evergreen
Mar 30, 2005
1,867
0
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36
wa.
good job displaying emotion and action i'd say B+ cus of inconclusive conclusion, to much buildup for a "matrix move" had it come back for another swoop at you and had you taken a french fry and absorbed the sting w/ it in front of the cute girls then taken them hom w/ you as the hero,

THAT would have been an ending but all it had was a "matrix move" B+
 

DrakeMK3

"The Duck"
Mar 30, 2005
328
0
0
Knoxville, TN
americanjebus said:
good job displaying emotion and action i'd say B+ cus of inconclusive conclusion, to much buildup for a "matrix move" had it come back for another swoop at you and had you taken a french fry and absorbed the sting w/ it in front of the cute girls then taken them hom w/ you as the hero,

THAT would have been an ending but all it had was a "matrix move" B+

I KNOW. I know. I could have made the story MUCH better if I had started lying, but I thought I'd keep honesty into this one.

Maybe next time I'll bend the truth extensively to provide a good read for my supra breathren. Once again, I know to anyone with hint of literary criticism in them would see it that way, but I'll make my next story better. I promise. ;)
 
S

SupraSith

Guest
You have cute girls working at McDonald's? I gotta move to Tenn. :yum:

Sorry for reviving an old thread. Just saw this and made me laugh.
 

miggles

i wasnt speeding officer
Jun 3, 2005
526
0
0
47
perth West Australia
ive had a hoooge spider appear on my A pillar one time while drivin through a roundabout once.i literally shat my pants and couldnt find where it went.when i got home i sprayed a can of flyspray inside my car and locked it up and left it for cupple days hoping to gas it out.didnt find the spider to this day.another time i was parked under a tree while visiting friends wif the roof off.got inside the car wif my mate and noticed a strong sticky spiderweb on my shifter and handbrake.didnt take much notice of it as couldnt see any spider.started driving then out the corner of my eye i see something movin along the side of the passenger side headrest and i look for the closest turn off and tell my mate to unbuckle the seatbelt and get out,he realized the spider is inside the car and he fly's out the car and i show him the spider(now crawling behind the headrest) and he nearly faints at the size of it.we managed to shoo it out into the open and out the door then we took off.
 

SupraMario

I think it was the google
Mar 30, 2005
3,467
6
38
38
The Farm
yea neither did i. i read it and posted on the old SM, and its still funny, but this is a repost and its 3 months old lol, its back from the dead. im guessing this is a sign that u will be attacked again by a wasp, no wait a hornet.
 

DrakeMK3

"The Duck"
Mar 30, 2005
328
0
0
Knoxville, TN
Haha, it's funny you mention that possibility because 3 weeks ago I got stung by a wasp. I was working on my station wagon (88 celebrity y0!1!11) and a little screwball came out from behind the driver's side mirror. He was a brilliant fire truck red with those evil little contrasting yellow legs dangling blissfully beneath him. Of course I lept out of the car like a squemish little girl and I couldn't even blink before I knew what happened. The little $hit stung me in an instant! I didn't even see it happen it was so fast. I guess I'm getting slower...:(